


Desperation is the English Way

by thymelord



Series: Defragmentation: A Standalone Collection of Oneshots [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Aphrodisiacs, Deepthroating, Extremely Dubious Consent, Forced Incest, Fuck Or Die, M/M, Revenge Sex, Sibling Incest, Ult!Dirk - Freeform, noncon to dubcon, well it's more fuck or be in unbearable pain but anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27609050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thymelord/pseuds/thymelord
Summary: In the process of collecting all his splinters, Dirk comes across another timeline where Jake and John are brothers.And it just so happens that Dirk has alchemitized the most curious aphrodisiac.Whata coincidence.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Jake English
Series: Defragmentation: A Standalone Collection of Oneshots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750708
Kudos: 38





	Desperation is the English Way

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this because i was listening to pink floyd and was like "oh my fucking god i need to use that lyric as a jake english fic title"

_Another_ timeline in which John and Jake are brothers?

Hot damn.

Dirk Strider has never believed in karma, and this is just something else to add to his ever-increasing pile of evidence. He’s done so many horrible things, things uncountable, and yet the multiverse just keeps on throwing him big ol’ boons.

Of course, in this timeline, they aren’t lovers – but that could be easily remedied.

It may even be more fun than if they _were_ lovers.

No, scratch that; Dirk _knows_ it’s going to be more fun.

He idly flicks through this splinter’s memories. No Sburb, which is hardly surprising; the vast majority of timelines are Sburb-free, otherwise there would be a truly hellacious amount of paradoxes that not even this sturdy multiverse could withstand.

This is a very dull timeline, all things considered. He wouldn’t spend more than a millisecond on this splinter, except John and Jake are _brothers._

Dirk is Jake’s ex, as usual; Dirk had dumped him after Jake cheated on him with _Roxy,_ of all people, and this pathetic splinter had been moping for months.

Dirk discovers new perks of being a god nearly every day, but by far one of his favourites was the sudden intuition he has with captchalogue codes. After only a day or so of trial and error, he’d managed to craft a potent aphrodisiac with a nasty little side-effect – you’d have ever-increasing pain until you fuck someone.

Dirk’s quite proud of that, if he does say so himself.

He knocks on the Englishes’ door. He’s lucky the brothers live together; it will make his plan go so much smoother.

Jake answers the door, mouth falling open in a way that’s almost comical. This is hardly surprising; everything Jake does verges on the comical. “D- _Dirk?_ You look – different.”

Okay, so Dirk may have assumed his ultimate self’s appearance, but who could blame him? He has some sicknasty fuckin’ guns. “I’ve been working out,” says Dirk lightly, surreptitiously flexing his biceps which have been laid bare by his tight black tank-top. Dirk’s never been one for subtlety, but he’s given up the slightest pretence of being subtle since he ascended for the second time. “How’ve you been, Jakey?”

“I, um –“ Jake is beginning to look visibly flustered, which isn’t surprising – Ultimate Dirk Strider is hot fucking shit. “Good, I guess. Uh – why exactly are you here? Not to say I’m not pleased to see you, of course, but it’s jolly unexpected –“

“Just checkin’ in on my old friend,” says Dirk smoothly. “Oh yeah, and I also wanted to do this.” He lunges forward, too fast for Jake to react, stabbing a syringe into his upper arm and pressing the plunger.

“Wh- Wha –“ says Jake groggily, and Dirk catches him in an almost tender embrace as he falls into a dead faint.

~

Jake wakes on his bed, John hovering worriedly over him. “You’ve only been out for a few minutes, but – how are you feeling? Are you okay? I don’t need to call 911, do I?”

Jake smiles weakly. Always overprotective – he thought as the oldest, _he_ was supposed to be the overprotective one, but John doesn’t seem to have got the memo. “I’m fine, I...” There’s an ache in his groin and his lower stomach, and he’s hard. _Very_ hard. “I...” He sits up, propping himself against the headboard, and then points an accusing finger at Dirk. “Oh my God – you injected me with something! What the fuck, what the _fuck –“_

“Now, now,” purrs Dirk. “Don’t get hysterical.” He’s leaning against the closed door, a small smile on his face. John is still at the side of Jake’s bed, glancing between the two ex-lovers with a bewildered look on his face.

“Dirk?” John says uncertainly. “What’s he talking about? What’s going on?”

“I’m afraid I’ve been rather pathetic recently,” says Dirk, tapping his nail against the door. “Wallowing in my own misery for-fucking-ever, and all the while not making you _pay_ for betraying me.” He slides off his shades, and his eyes are _burning._ “Are you quite sure you’re feeling _fine,_ Jakey?”

“I...” He glances towards John, panicking. “I feel – what the _hell_ have you done to me –“ He squirms beneath the sheets, rubbing his thighs together. “Please... leave...”

“Oh, this is a very _special_ aphrodisiac,” says Dirk. “That pain will just get worse and worse until you fuck someone. Don’t try and ignore it; it will be so agonising you’ll want to _die.”_

“You’re a sick fucking _bastard –_ you came here to _rape_ me – to make me beg to be raped – you disgusting fucking –“

“Oh, no, I’m not going to rape you.” Dirk smiles. “I’m going to make you rape John.”

~

Dirk watches with glee as Jake’s expression turns to pure, unadulterated horror. “You – you’ve got to be fucking _joking –_ that’s sick, you’re fucking _sick,_ you’re absolutely fucking deplorable – I’m not doing that, I’m _not –“_ He gasps in pain, doubling over and wincing.

“How – how much does it hurt?” asks John uncertainly, looking between them both again.

“Like the devilfucking dickens, as your brother would say,” grins Dirk. “And it’s only going to get wo- _orse.”_ He sing-songs the last word.

John’s cute little buck teeth nip at his bottom lip. “Please... don’t make him fuck me – j-just let him fuck you, or...” Curiously, his heart doesn’t seem to be in the argument, as though it’s just perfunctory.

And the best part is, Dirk didn’t have do to a single thing. He doesn’t like to use his powers too much – it’s never much fun when you mind-control people into doing what you want like a puppet on a string, instead preferring to nudge people gently in his desired direction.

But for John, he didn’t even have to do that.

“Jake,” says John quietly as his brother lets out another agonised groan. “Just – just do it.”

“No!” yelps Jake. “No, John, I can’t – I won’t – _no –“_

“Jake, he’s not going to back down,” says John. “Please, it’s gonna kill you!”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you _want_ to be fucked by your big brother,” says Dirk smoothly.

“Shut the fuck up,” snarls John with sudden viciousness. “Just shut the _fuck_ up, you perverted fucking scum –“

“Yeah? Prove it. Drop your pants.”

John’s tan-olive skin flushes a deep crimson. “N-No!”

“ _Now,”_ growls Dirk, “or I’ll rip them off you.”

John swallows audibly, and his fingers slowly go to his belt, sliding it off and then pushing down his pants.

“Look,” coos Dirk. “Jakey, your lil brother is hard. Looks like you won’t be _raping_ him after all.”

John’s looking almost as agonised as his brother. “I’m not _hard,_ I’m just a little – It’s _your_ fault!” he snaps at Dirk. “Look at you! You’re fucking –“ John looks down at his feet. “Gorgeous,” he mutters grudgingly to the floor.

“Yeah?” murmurs Dirk, and grabs John by the collar, shoving him up against the wall and kissing him. John whimpers, responding automatically, hips twitching upwards, his cock swelling to full hardness against Dirk’s thigh. Dirk shoves him, hard, causing him to tumble on the bed. “Go on,” he purrs. “Fuck your pretty little slut of a brother.”

“I’m going to fucking _kill_ you,” snarls Jake.

Dirk laughs lowly. “I’d like to see you fucking try.”

“It’s okay, Jake,” whispers John, sitting uncertainly at the end of the bed. “You’re in _pain –_ I want to help you. It’s okay. I know you don’t have a choice.”

Jake slowly gets out from under the covers. He’d been stripped naked, hopefully by John but probably by Dirk, no doubt under the excuse that Dirk didn’t want him to overheat. His cock is hard and straining, glans a painful crimson colour. “John...”

“He’s gagging for it,” jeers Dirk. “Been wanting your gorgeous big brother to fuck you for years, haven’t you –“

“Shut up!” screams Jake, and grimaces in disgust as Dirk takes out his cock, spitting in his palm and stroking himself slowly as heat surges through him in anticipation.

Jake yanks open the drawer on his nightstand, grabbing the lube and slicking up his cock. “C-Come here –“

John crawls towards him, and yelps as he’s flung onto his stomach, Jake spreading his legs wide and sliding a finger inside him, and then another, stretching him out slowly. They curl inside him, and John lets out a high, sharp moan, tongue hanging open. “I don’t want this,” says Jake hoarsely as he presses the head of his cock against his entrance. “I swear – it’s that aphrodisiac, I swear –“

“I know,” says John reassuringly. “Do it.” Jake pushes slowly inside, and John’s mouth twists a little in pain.

Jake lets out an involuntary moan. “Mmh - !” He bites his lip, furrowing his brow. “J-John – I promise I’m not – enjoying –“ He snaps his hips forwards, sheathing himself fully inside John and moaning as the pain washes away from him, leaving him with the other affects of the aphrodisiac. His entire body is hypersensitive, blood molten in his veins, and all he wants to do – all he _has_ to do – is fuck, breed, fuck, _breed –_ “Fuck,” he gasps, pistoning in and out of John as fast as he can. “Mmh – gonna go – fast – make it over quickly –“

“No,” calls out Dirk. “It’s because you want to pound your baby brother through the mattress.”

“Shut up –“ Jake’s thrusts increase, and John whimpers, hands automatically clenching in the sheets.

“Ja- ah –“

Jake pulls out quickly, flipping John over and shoving his knees to his shoulders before thrusting back inside. John’s hands fly up to clutch at Jake’s back, nails digging into his flesh. Dirk catches a glimpse of John’s cock, hard and straining as it slides between their stomachs. “ _Jake – ah –“_

“You’re such a perfect little whore,” praises Dirk as his hand speeds up a little on his cock. “Such a good little toy for your big brother, aren’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up,” snarls Jake at the same time that John cries, “Yes, _yes - !”_

“You drugged him,” shouts Jake. “How dare you – how _fucking_ dare you –“

Dirk laughs again. “No, Jakey. You can’t pin this on me. Your baby bro is hot for you.”

“Shut up,” gasps Jake. “Shut up shut up _shut up - !”_

“You should be pleased,” says Dirk. “What sort of monster wants their little brother to suffer?”

“Stop fucking _twisting_ everything, you piece of shit –“ Jake hears Dirk laugh again, and ignores him in favour of focusing on John. His baby brother is whimpering and squirming beneath him, erection pressing into Jake’s stomach.

“I’m sorry,” whispers John, tears gathering in his eyes. “I’m so sorry –“

“It – it’s fine,” gasps out Jake. “It’s okay, baby bro –“ Their eyes lock, and suddenly their mouths are crashing against each other, John’s tongue flicking inside Jake’s mouth.

“Jake,” moans John when their lips part. “Jake, fuck, you feel so good, oh _God –“_

Jake’s breath shudders, fingers clenching on his brother’s skin. “John, you’re so tight, I’m gonna –“ He fucking _whimpers_ as he comes, his release exploding in John, whose flushed lips part when he feels Jake’s hot, sticky cum filling him. When he pulls out, Dirk steps forward and grabs John again, dragging him off the bed and onto his knees before shoving his cock into his mouth.

John looks up at him, tears spilling down his cheeks as he sucks desperately at Dirk, tongue swirling around him. Dirk lets him lap at him for a moment, and then holds his head steady as he thrusts into his throat, using him like a fleshlight. John’s making obscene _glrk grk_ noises as Dirk fucks sloppily into him, and one of John’s hands goes to his own erection, working himself desperately.

Jake’s watching with a hazy, fucked-out expression. He wants to tell Dirk to get his filthy hands off his brother, but John was so clearly _desperate_ for him.

Dirk releases down his throat, which proves to be too much for him; he rears off Dirk’s cock, coughing and spluttering as cum and saliva drips down his chin. He convulses, spraying his cum over the floor.

“You Englishes are just desperate little sluts, aren’t you?” Dirk smiles, nudging John with his toe, who flops onto his back, panting in the aftershocks of his orgasm.

“Shut up,” says Jake weakly.

Dirk stands up, fixing his clothes and going to the door. “I’ll come back tonight,” he says. “Try not to fuck each other into a coma before then.”


End file.
